Monday, February 13, 2023

Love Letters to the Everyday



This document is intended as an interrogation of fear of the ordinary, everyday, and mundane. It is an attempt to trace the boundaries and limits of these categories. It is a note on memories of where I have learned to fear and learned to love them.

Inspired by Paperman
Cameron Carr

 

LOVE LETTERS TO THE EVERYDAY
I first saw Paperman in a high school homeroom
And I loved it because it feared gray tedium
But I've come to wonder why
And what is the alternative?

My homeroom teacher was a quiet, reserved man—known for a notoriously difficult AP Lit class. I dropped the class early to avoid the summer reading. But I went to his poetry club anyway.

One day, at the prodding of an administration unsure what to do with high school homeroom, he showed us this video. Now I wonder if this was its own act of rebellion. We could have been taking Meyer’s Briggs personality tests and debating the compatibility of INFJs and ESTPs. I think, now, that part of his reservation was his own dread of monotony (in teaching, every day is different, but the units repeat). But he and his influence are another essay, a longer one. Paperman is a 2012 short film produced by Walt Disney Animation Studios (the story is by Clio Chiang and Kendelle Hoyer). It is a love story set in the gray monotony of working life. A man and woman meet waiting for a train when the wind blows one of his papers to her face. They laugh at the lipstick mark left on it, but they lose each other. Until. There is always an until in love stories. Until he sees her from his office window, at the building across the street. So he abandons his work, turns it into paper planes to try to reach her. But they don’t. Until. Until the planes return to find them both and guide them together.

 

BUT WHAT DOES THIS                                                                                                                             SAY                                                                                                                            ABOUT LOVE

It doesn’t

 

LOVE

 

Really say

 

WILL NOT

 

Anything.

 

ARRIVE

 

This is

 

UNCALLED

 

The

 

ON

 

Problem.

 

PAPER PLANES

 

At the time it was enough to believe that love could come and rescue me no matter how gray life became. I have come to realize this is not enough. This solves nothing.

 

1. Life will continue to be gray even after love. Even after the surreptitious kiss on paper. Even after the thrill of disappearance. Even after rediscovery, from a distance, and the longing that ensues. Even after all those paper planes. Even after running out on your job. Even after finally finding love and holding it.

2. Who falls in love over a piece of paper anyway? It doesn’t seem like a particularly meaningful base for a relationship. It bothers me that the papers say nothing.

3. Even with your paper love, life will continue to be gray all around you.

                a.      The people will be gray                  b.       the trees will be gray           c.       the office you’ll still be stuck in will be gray

4. What I want is to learn to love the ordinary all around us—to find love in the ordinary all around us.

5. If there is nothing to love then create something. Change something. Don’t just convince yourself that a piece of paper is love. Or, do. It might work.

6. Instead of throwing blank paper planes and hoping they’ll find love, I want to send out messages that mean something. Even if the meaning is known to one person alone, it might be read differently by someone else, it might be inspiration for someone else. I like the idea of a fleet of love letters making community in the sky.

 

IDEA IN ACTION

I asked my students, friends, and colleagues to write their own little love letters to their everydays. I asked them to fold the letters into paper planes. I didn’t give them rules, and I didn’t give them instructions. They could write to people or things or places or feelings, and they wrote to all of those things. Not that I read them, but some people shared the things they love with me. And certain words are visible—like parts of a mystery.

 

I don’t mean to say that I don’t like Paperman, because I still do. It’s sweet. And maybe stories like this can help us to believe, and to remember, that there are things around us worth loving in ordinary moments. I think it would’ve been hard for my teacher to explain this. Not that I didn’t love odd little everyday things, but I’m not sure I yet recognized them as such. (One of my dearest friends liked to wear short sleeves in winter because “it was the only time that we can get that feeling,” which is ridiculous. It’s possible to be cold all year in all sorts of outfits. But I still appreciate the sentiment.)

 

                            How lovely it is to collect these ordinary things.

Recently, I’ve taken to the magic of turmeric and ginger in my oatmeal.

Last week, I purchased muffins on the way home from a run, just ‘cause.

Reading a story, aloud, before bed has become a treat on tiring days.

 

And I should tell you about Matthew Lettering too.

One day in class, my teacher made a comment, about a story maybe.

I wasn’t in the class, my teacher told me about it only later, but the comment was something about cubicles, impersonalized and dull.

Paper airplane image | Free SVGThe comment was something about how we all dread this, how we all want something more from life than to be sectioned off and managed.

But Matthew Lettering did not agree. Matthew Lettering was offended. Matthew Lettering said that some people work really hard to reach a cubicle and are happy to have something stable they can rely on and come back to. And my teacher felt bad. He hadn’t thought that some people don’t fear that world he saw as gray, or they don’t mind the gray. This is maybe different than what I mean by coming to love the everyday. But I’m not sure it is. Maybe Matthew Lettering had it right.


Really, little things like copying the formatting of a document shown briefly in a six-and-a-half-minute video can give meaning. This is an amended version of a design by Lisa Mantchev, thanks to Mantchev.

And thank you, Mr. Yuker



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